The days are starting to feel shorter, the sky a blanket of royal blue and Icey grey. Just as the serpent, I find my body slowing down, gravitating to warmth, wherever I can find it.
Metalsmithing is a demanding artform, there is no time for hesitation or too much staring off into the distance, as we drift off into that zone, that only artists will understand. Playing with fire and molten metal asks us to be forever present in the moment, the line between a finished piece and a puddle of silver, can be mere seconds. There is also the ever-present possibility of injury, from burns to hammering fingers, cuts with saw blades and shears, exploding hollow forms, and the exposure to chemicals, dust, and fumes.
My smithing days start early, and I work with an almost militant efficiency, one error can set me back hours, and the pack up, pack down, and showering before I collect my daughter from daycare, is a task within itself. Then add in the marketing and book-keeping, as artists also need to make a living, sometimes I feel like I am working seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day.
I had a moment last week, where I said to myself… “I think I have had enough” I had been literally running through my day, I had only a limited amount of time to complete a piece, and I had made an error while being distracted, I stopped for a moment, looked around my studio and thought, “that’s it, I am turning this into my toddler’s bedroom”. I was becoming increasingly frustrated with this jewel and found myself, during the engraving process, writing “resign yourself” … I never, ever add writing to my work.
I will engrave flowers, symbols, plants, and animals… but never writing, it is not my style at all… So, why resign yourself?
My mother has said this to me my whole life, when things are out of my control, I just need to “resign myself” which has never been my motto, I will move mountains and I will make it happen, and if I can’t, I will fight it to the bitter end.
I managed to finish this piece, ironically part of a collection associated with comfort, featuring green sapphires, the stones linked to healing and revered as the king of sapphires in medieval times. I have decided to keep the two pieces I have made so far, which almost felt like automatic writing, with the hidden message on the ring, and to leave the rest incomplete for a while.
I came back from a trip home to see my parents and complete a story down south, and before I even finished unpacking, I cleared out my entire studio, with the same ferocity that I charge through my metalsmithing with. I dragged my huge workbench outside, and cleaned the room with extreme care, seeking out any sharp piece of silver and any broken saw blade, before scrubbing it down, changing the curtains, and turning it into a space for my daughter.
I thought that I would be a lot more torn about this decision, I have always wanted a studio space, but never been able to, it feels indulgent even writing those words, given that so many are struggling just to have a home to live in right now.
Our house is old and tiny, and my partner and I share a room with our toddler, it just felt like it was time, time for a change, and time to have a deeper look at how I work my craft.
I have always had a focus on the kind of impact my art creates, I try to stay away from overly hazardous materials for the sake of my young daughter and also to lessen my own exposure, I use things like vinegar and salt for my pickle (to clean the metal after soldering) rather than the more dangerous pickles normally used, and I do all of my soldering outside, as to avoid fumes in my home, especially because I work with brass, which when heated is very toxic (it is completely safe otherwise).
In winter this poses new challenges, vinegar and salt pickle must be warm or it does not work very well, but during the hotter months, this is not an issue, as by leaving my recycled Pyrex coffee pot on the concrete, the blistering sun heats it just right, the same can be said for providing the conditions that are just right for my soldering blocks to stay warm, to avoid heat sinks and guarantee that my solder always flows.
I also do not need to combat the wild winter wind, interfering with my torch. I have become so in tune with the environmental conditions needed for metalsmithing, that it comes together almost seamlessly, without fail, and as everything in life moves in cycles, something that us modern humans, had forgotten for a time.
It feels like we are re-connecting again, with this lore of the land due to concerns with climate change, and because our bodies are made to move in seasons, to eat what is available to us depending on the climate and not to force treats such as summer fruits to be provided to us in the wintertime of rest and root vegetables, dancing in warm soups.
If our eating habits should move with the seasons, why should art be any different?
I will still bring out the boxes piled high with my metalsmithing tools, to finish my half done pieces, and work though the last of my commissions, with maybe a jewel for sale, here and there, but I am so looking forward to going back to my desk, in clean clothes and bare feet, to enjoy hot tea, and weave magical tales with watercolour and graphite, to be able to hug my daughter as I work, without calling in my partner, to move her away from the hundred things next to me that could harm her.
I am excited to paint again, hidden symbols in emotionally charged portraits, and sew together headdress and cloaks, for new projects, that have been waiting so patiently to manifest into this plane. I am also incredibly relieved about freeing myself from the necessary evil of having to constantly monetize my craft, because metalsmithing is costly, and tools always need replacing or maintaining.
I am even excited to go back to a “normal” job, making my artwork again, just for pleasure, when I feel like doing it, not because I have bills to pay.
I will re-emerge, when the days are long again… and when the serpents reveal themselves, chasing the summer sun.
